How to Tell What Really Matters
How smart prioritisation helps you figure out what's important
If you’ve ever found yourself halfway through a workday, knee-deep in “urgent” tasks, only to wonder why nothing meaningful got done, you’re not alone. It’s a modern professional disease: being busy without being purposeful.
We live in a culture where everything feels important, right now, all the time. Emails marked “urgent” that probably aren’t. Team messages blowing up your concentration. A calendar that looks like it’s been attacked by a toddler with a pack of highlighters.
The truth? Not everything deserves your energy. And smart prioritisation means figuring out — without guilt — what really matters.
Why We Struggle to Prioritise
First, a little brain science.
Our minds don’t naturally prioritise well when we’re overwhelmed. According to Baumeister et al. (1998), willpower is a finite resource — when we get decision fatigue, our ability to distinguish what matters collapses, and we default to the easiest or loudest demand.
That’s why you end up replying to low-priority emails instead of working on the presentation that could actually move your career forward.
On top of that, our brains crave closure. We like to tick things off, even if they’re irrelevant. Research from the Journal of Consumer Research shows that incomplete goals create a tension that pushes us to finish the quick, easy things just to feel relief (Masicampo & Baumeister, 2011).
No wonder we keep “clearing the decks” but never steer the ship.
Slow Down to See Clearly
I know — telling a busy professional to slow down feels like handing a Jedi a foam sword. But slowing down is the only way to truly see what deserves your focus.
That’s where pen and paper come in.
When you sit down with a notebook, away from the pings and tabs and the endless scroll of digital planners, you actually think. You have to confront what’s in front of you, instead of reacting to what’s coming at you.
A paper list is honest. It doesn’t magically reflow your day with a drag-and-drop. If you’re overcommitted, it stares you right in the face.
A Little Pop Culture Wisdom
I’m a firm believer that we can learn a thing or two from pop culture. Remember Indiana Jones, carefully swapping that golden idol with a bag of sand? That was prioritisation under pressure — knowing which risk was worth taking, which action really mattered.
OK, it didn’t work out so well for Indy, but you get my point.
Real prioritisation is about making intentional trade-offs, not trying to do everything perfectly.
A Simple Way to Start
Here’s a quick pen-and-paper ritual I teach my clients:
Write down everything you feel you need to do this week.
Circle just three things that will genuinely move the needle — for you, your wellbeing, or your work.
Cross out anything that could wait until next week without the world collapsing.
You might be surprised by how little truly matters once you look it straight in the eye.
Making Peace with Saying No
Smart prioritisation means you will sometimes disappoint people. That’s OK. You are not their full-time firefighter.
Every time you say “yes” to something unimportant, you’re saying “no” to what really matters — and that includes rest, hobbies, or just staring out the window for a minute like a cat contemplating its empire.
The writer Stephen Covey put it well:
“The key is not to prioritise what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.”
Try This This Week
Block 20 minutes on Sunday with an actual notebook.
List out your “shoulds” versus your “musts.”
Protect your top three priorities like a bodyguard for your future self.
Prioritisation is a skill, not a reflex. It takes practice. It takes honesty. And it takes slowing down enough to see clearly.
If you want help designing a calmer, more intentional way to plan your week, I’d love to talk. I offer free discovery calls for busy professionals who want to stop drowning in “urgent” and start focusing on what really matters. You can book through thecalmcoach.uk.